Dear McCain-Palin,

I am Farrah the Unemployed Aspiring Fameball and I am pursuing the American dream of becoming a famous attention whore. While Joe the Plumber and Ed the Dairyman are ok, you defs need a newer, sexier, less bald head for your campaign. That's why I was sooo psyched when I got your email about finding a new Joe the Plumber and I am calling my agent to get a production team together to shoot a hot vid for you.

Basically, I am a hardworking everyday American who is pursuing her dream of one day owning a condominium just to store Prada, and the economy is my first priority. The main reason I am supporting you is that I prefer not to be taxed on the $14 million I will get once I have an A-list baby and sell the photos to, as I am confident that money will trickle down to Joe and Ed once I invest it back into the designer handbag industry. As I am currently unemployed, please tell me what you will do to create new, $250,000 jobs that involve cocktail parties in Christian Louboutin shoes!

I am currently dating Hunter the Upper Class Heroin Addict, who is a hardworking everyday American deeply involved in the illegal prescription drug industry. I will put him in the video too. He totally looks like Chace Crawford.

If you would like me to star in any attack ads, I have done a commercial already. Please contact my agent to negotiate my contract. (I am okay with nudity.)


About The Author

Alisa Harris

Set your Twitter account name in your settings to use the TwitterBar Section.