The best thing about the end of this election is that it just keeps going on and on and on and on! A sampling of doomsday Facebook status updates (some, we’re hoping, tongue in cheek) from young conservatives mourning the end of freedom, America and the world:

… is going to hell, because her sister voted for the Anti-Christ.

… is going to go shopping for a burka tomorrow.

… Welcome to the GRAVE!

… is moving to Australia.

… knows the heart of the KING is in the hands of the Lord.

… is proud of my country and ashamed of our anti-American/muslim/socialist president.

… is mourning for her country.

… pretends not to care.

… what will become of America now?

… is welcome to the USSA.

… is trusting in the sovereignty of the King.

… is wondering how you can live with the blood on your hands?

… is convinced that Comrade Obama will soon take the Divine Right! May he live forever!

… prepares for the dark ages.

… is praying that God will help her respect those in authority… even if it’s hard. May God be glorified! God, please forgive us and let your light shine!

… is mourning the death of capitalism.

… says that every great nation has its moment of glory and then it collapses. America started her downhill descent today.

… is praying that God will be merciful in His judgment of our nation–and praying for the salvation of our new president.

… remembers the 5th of November and prays for the protection of life and liberty.

… heck, maybe living under socialism will be fun!

… sighs and prays that the cost isn’t higher than we can pay…

… is praying for the future of her country, which she loves.

… hopes you all get what you deserve . . . and it probably won’t include lower taxes .

… is scared for her country.

… is prepared for four years of insufferable platitudes.

… is politically depressed.

… is celebrating her last few hours of freedom… :(.

… is clinging to his guns and religion.

… is praying for the elections and that God will be merciful in His judgment of our nation. What peace may be found in the sovereignty of God. Rom. 8:28.

… is no no no no no NBC News, GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE SOLUTION (and, while I’m at it, f*** the two-party system).

About The Author

Alisa Harris

0 Responses to Young Conservatives See Apocalypse On the Horizon

  1. John Wofford says:

    I loved these. Saw many of them myself. Fantastic.

  2. APN says:

    Dear Young Conservatives:

    Over-react much? Last time I checked, Senator McCain was all about the $700 billion dollar bailout, so, unless you voted for Bob Barr or wrote in Ron Paul, the GOP abdicated actual conservative policies awhile back. I don’t think that this country is going to turn into your greatly feared USSA (this one is my favorite, by far) any time soon. Last time I checked, we live in a representative democracy.


    A not-so-young-anymore liberal.

    P.S. — The two-party system is horribly broken and needs to be repudiated by all thinking Americans of every political stripe.

  3. Jim U. says:

    The rest of this article’s title should be “…and young liberals see the Kingdom coming down” and include scary language from the new religious left.

  4. eumaeus says:

    Amusing at best, embarrassing at worst. But the youth have been drastically overplayed in this election. Why the continual pandering to the myspace/facebook generation?

  5. Jordan says:

    ..“says that every great nation has its moment of glory and then it collapses. America started her downhill descent today…”

    yes, cause 8 years of wasteful, overbloated, illegal war mongering, privacy stealing, failed hurficane relief, corporate incest, debt loving, corruption ridden government WASN’T downhill. Not even at all.

  6. APN says:

    Eumaeus —

    Why the “pandering” to this generation? Ummmm…. Because 18-to-25-year-olds have the right to vote, hold jobs, pay taxes, and generally serves as the generation that from which the next political leadership will come. Are you suggesting that politicians ignore these folks in hopes that they’ll never aspire to political office? Isn’t that cynicism in its worst possible form?

  7. Stewart says:

    It’s really not going to be that different. Liberals and conservatives have come to mean essentially the same thing. Our election system perpetuates a two-party system because incumbents have such a strong advantage; only a major second party can challenge an incumbent. Third parties would only be an option if we opted for proportional representation like Germany has, but with our current predicament?

    McCain and Obama would both be disasters, but there are upsides to Obama getting elected, namely a better international image and better integration of the African-American community which was left incomplete ever since Reconstruction. Either candidate would be bad and conservatives fail to realize this.

  8. Rudy says:

    Oh, come on. Like people wouldn’t have been even MORE dramatic if Mccain had won.

  9. Mark P says:

    -Worse and best overheard melodrama: “So we’re not allowed to sit next to a Muslim on a plane but one’s allowed to lead the country?” I also heard him called a scourge of God for our national sins, comparable to Attila the Hun or the Civil War. Granted, that was at least half tongue-in-cheek…
    -Speaking of the civil war, anybody else notice the story on Drudge last week predicting one if Obama lost? Melodrama on both sides…

    I’m doing my best to be, ahem, hopeful about the whole thing, rejecting as always the demonizing. It was quite a nice speech he gave last night, and I am eagerly looking forward to State of the Union addresses. Really, I am.

    But while I reject the hysteria (and there sure is lots of it around), I do believe there is cause for alarm.

    As much as the rather socialist (though certainly nothing like Marxist) tendencies in Obama unnerve me, my main concerns are the war and (sorry, trendy progressive evangelicals, still matters) abortion. The idea of abandoning Iraq at this point, when some semblance of order and peace has begun to take hold, seems horrific (I would use abominable, but that’s getting to close to Obaminable, and I’ll stay away from that pun for now). Obama will also kill the Mexico City doctrine, meaning that by being good Caesar-rendering taxpayers we all get to fund abortions here and around the world! How exciting! And he’ll pass FOCA, which will effectively destroy most abortion-limiting state laws. He’ll simultaneously cut funding for pro-life pregnancy centers. Friends, that’s not even pro-choice; that’s pro-abortion. Bush may have been a lousy, no-good President, but there were 100,000 less abortions in 2005 than in 2000.

  10. Kathryn says:

    I find it hilarious that somewhere along the line “Capitalism” became synonymous with “Christian.” Capitalism works because it capitalizes on greed and selfishness. People are self-seeking bastards who produce quality products for profit (not because they care about anyone or anything but money.) It takes some serious creativity to call Capitalism even remotely Christian.

    Remember the early church in Acts? Remember “all things held in common”? Remember when Ananias and Sapphira got struck dead for taking a profit from their private real estate deal? That sounds a little like…(gasp!)…socialism?

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of Capitalism. It works, and it’s served me pretty well. But let’s keep our facts straight, kids: Jesus was not a Capitalist.

    Jesus was a hobo.

  11. Mark P says:

    Thank you Shane Claiborne.

    Free market systems and capitalism are different entities. I like the first, not the second.

    And as for Acts. There’s a reason the early church stopped doing socialism…. it’s because it didn’t work. The object lesson is that it failed, and so they stopped doing it.

  12. Jordan says:

    Abortion rates also fell almost 300,000 under Clinton (more than Reagan and Bush Sr).

    My mom always says that if you’re not willing to take in a young disadvantaged mother and help raise her baby, or volunteer at a pregnancy crisis center, or advocate for preventative measures (other than picketing – which doesn’t do a f***ing thing) than opposing it sort of makes one a hypocrite.

    Its easy to blame government and make a lot of noise, but its a lot harder to carry the burden and examine your role in making things better. Like Tony Campolo says, abortion can only be solved through moral persuasion, not legislation.

    I’d take “pro choice” over lazy, lip service “pro life” anyday.

  13. Nathan says:

    i actually felt more sadness upon finding out that michael crichton died than the fact that obama won.

    but maybe my ducks are out of line

  14. Jordan says:

    I appreciate your discourse Mark but throwing around insults (even though I would consider being compared to someone as passionate about their convictions as Shane Claiborne a compliment) isn’t going to get us anywhere.

    The early church didn’t abandon socialism because it didn’t work, nor did they embrace it. They just loved. They shared and took care of each other. They didn’t need political labels for every damn thing. Nor do we. The most biblical thing we can do in our political context is not put our faith in the world’s systems and powers.

    This isn’t YouTube, so let’s keep these threads away from partisan bickering. After a point it just sounds like the blind leading the blind.

  15. Mark P says:

    “Shane Claiborne” wasn’t an insult. I have huge respect for the man’s ideas and the way he lives them out. Still, throwing out somebody else’s bumper sticker is a bit cheap. Although it’s rather chic these days to think of the Christ with dirty dreds and a stained Che shirt, he wasn’t a hobo, and I find such statements more than a little cheesy.

    Campolo – another progressive I tend to appreciate – and your mother make good points. But the ultimate problem of abortion is that it kills people. Poverty, injustice, indifference… these are bad things. But they seem incredibly trite when stacked next to the legalized slaughter of 2-million human beings. I’m all for lowering #’s of abortions, so I can understand Jim Wallis and co’s compromise position, but somehow cutting two million down to one million just doesn’t cut it. Unfortunately, there is very little ground between the opposing sides of abortion. One side defends a practice that murders millions of people. The other side does not. Call that polarizing partisan bickering if you’d like, but I’m just not finding much wiggle-room for compromise… When we’ve cut down the killing fields to a million every year, can we pat ourselves on the back? Or do we save that for the six-digit death tolls?

    I don’t think anyone needs to put in a certain number of volunteer hours to gain the “moral cred” to make the simple statement that killing babies is wrong. Even though I’m not going to run around as a workplace counselor, I still feel pretty unhypocritical calling office killings wrong. And though I haven’t yet worked as a missionary to inner-city gangs, I still pretty comfortably consider drive-by shootings as wicked. I have yet to walk a mile in the shoes of a sexual predator, but rape is still wrong.

    Of course, as Kirk said, every political problem is rooted in a moral and religious problem (and, yeah, it’s a religion too), so we certainly do need to address underlying social injustices. I’m not advocating we overlook those issues. But the preeminent issue at this point is eliminating mass murder. Eliminating legalized abortion won’t solve the world’s problems, but it’s one helluva step.

  16. David Sessions says:

    Wow, totally didn’t forsee all the 700-word comments. You guys get participation points.

    I thought it was more deserving of a simple, “wow, look at all the stupid people who care too much about politics!”

  17. Jordan says:

    Well put for the most part Mark, but the vague notions of “injustice” and “indifference” since they cover basically every crime ever including abortion, are not only the bigger issue, but the starting point for every issue. Regardless to say David is right. Although frustrating and sometimes entertaining, I believe we’ve missed the point of this piece: the internet is the bullhorn of the insane.

  18. Matthew Gazaway says:

    A quick rebuttal to #10. The problem with Ananias and Sapphira wasn’t that they made a profit, but they hid what they kept for themselves from Peter and in a sense, God. The sin wasn’t the profit, but the lie.

  19. John Wofford says:

    I’m with Nathan. I was heartbroken to learn Crichton had passed. He will be missed. And for the record, Jordan, your comments are killer. I absolutely love ‘em.

  20. Kathryn says:

    Thank you Mark for the comparison to Shane Claiborne! I’ve heard a lot about him, but I’ve actually never read anything of his or heard him speak. A friend just lent me “Jesus for President” and I guess I should read it since it sounds like I’d agree with it. I really thought I was stating my own opinion, but I guess someone else said it first (and probably articulated it better, and with cooler fonts and page layouts.)

    Thank you Jordan for defending my position. You articulated what I was trying to communicate about the early church’s “socialism” that was really just love. You’re right about it not working, Mark. I don’t think it’d work in America either, but I still maintain that it is a more “Christian” system than capitalism. But you’re totally right, it doesn’t work.

    Thank you Matthew for clarifying the Ananias and Sapphira story. You’re right that they were killed for the lie, not the profit. It was a weak example and I really just threw it in to be cute, but it doesn’t hold much water.

  21. Jim U. says:

    RE: “abortion can only be solved through moral persuasion, not legislation.”

    Compare: “slavery can only be solved through moral persuasion, not legislation.”

    Or: “murder can only be solved through moral persuasion, not legislation.”

  22. Jordan says:

    Good point, murder and slavery are unheard of now.

  23. Jim U. says:

    I think you missed my point.

    No, you can’t solve abortion through legislation, but that doesn’t mean you don’t legislate it… just like slavery and murder.

    Forbidding slavery and murder won’t solve the problems of racism and hate, but it is right and good to forbid them.

  24. David sessions says:

    but what Jordan is right is the fact that retroactive legislation is usually futile. There is no turning back the clock without a sea change in public opinion.

  25. Jim U. says:

    Okay, I know we should move on from this, so last one for me.

    I just don’t see that. My example again is slavery. Integration was opposed by many, but now… years and years later, we have a black president. The process is slow, but in some extreme cases legislation, despite public opinion, is the right thing to do.

  26. Mark P says:

    I’m a big fan of distracting myself with nonessentials. Hence the unnecessarily long-winded comments.


    I absolutely find certain flavors of socialism much more appealing than capitalism — so long as we’re speaking of capitalism as the collusion of government and business for the advancement of avarice. Capitalism ≠ free market. Also, I do not believe •in• the free market, in its magical (divine?) ability to solve all problems. But I do believe that free markets are more in line with Christian principles of justice and charity than either socialism or capitalism.

    Amusingly, the system espoused by Claiborne in the Irresistible Revolution is essentially a pre-monetary free market, a system that generally guarantees poverty for all through its remarkable inefficiency. Money was developed to deal with those inefficiencies. As such money created wealth, and wealth is the enemy. Or is poverty the enemy? I can never quite tell with most progressives.

    David, nobody except a few fringe “lunatics” wanted immediate abolition in 1860. No “sea change in public opinion” led to emancipation. A Civil War in which 600,000 men died turned back the clock, creating the conditions allowing for the emancipation of 1.4 million slaves. In 1790, everyone in America assumed slavery was a dying institution… a cotton gin and two decades of massive importation later, the trend moved more and more fervently in favor of slavery in the South, right up until the war. Since we generally still believe in a kind of historicist Progress, we like to think of abolition as an inevitable step in the march of civilization. We forget that civilizations regress too.

    No “sea change in public opinion” preceded 1973. The change was judicial legislation, not public outcry.

    Of course, we kill over two times as many people every year due to abortion than died in the Civil War. But progressive evangelicals of my generation would rather shuffle that to the side, talk briefly about changing hearts, and move on to more important issues. Like the meaningless wealth gap.

  27. Jenny says:

    My sister posted about Guy Fawkes day and one of her friends suggested that it was Obama who ought to be “poked in the eye, put in a bonfire and let die.” :-O The crazy is too much for me.

    I am frankly upset Obama won, just because I am pro-life and his policies on that upset me. However, I really don’t expect to be adapting the hijab any time soon. 😉

  28. Jordan says:

    I’ll never understand how so many Patrol blog threads turn into abortion debates. If these discussions don’t end up pushing people to do something than they’re a contentious waste of time. There are so many causes worth championing, lets not squander our breath over which is best (or worst). A diverse moral compass is important and possible. One can exercise his convictions on multiple issues at the same time. We might as well debate whether its more important to wear a seatbelt, or drive the speed limit, as if they’re mutually exclusive. There is no trump sin. And actions will always speak louder than words.

    So, lets take suggestions on what we should blog about now that the election’s over…

  29. Alisa says:

    Jordan – I agree. SOMEONE needs to write a new blog post. Preferably something gay-related so we can truly develop the diversity of our moral compass.

  30. Jordan says:


  31. Mark P says:

    Yes, we need to develop consistent principles across the board… but what you’re saying is let’s talk about something else because this whole abortion thing gets old. And I agree it does get tiring as an issue. But as tiring as it may be, the kind of complacency that’s perfectly comfortable living with genocide seems more than a little repugnant.

    Time and money, as it turns out, are quantifiable things. Meaning there’s only so much of both. So we have to make decisions about priorities.

  32. WhyDingo? says:

    If the Bible tells me anything, it’s that the second I think I’m right about something, I’m a fool.

    The God of the Bible is above ‘fact’, He is into Truth. God can redeem both of you, but He’ll only do it if you admit to Him – and to yourself – that you require it.

    I can’t read hearts, but I’d be very surprised if the arguments here are out of love and demonstrate compassion for each other… You are (I am?) just trying to be ‘right’, factually. God is Supra-Factual – He is far above and beyond fact. He can read hearts, He cares about truth.

    Some of us are trying to sound smart, some are trying to prove points, some are trying to be clever, some are trying to be heard… none are trying to demonstrate love and peace and mercy and conviction and compassion. So we’re all to blame and we’ll all be held accountable.

    Not one of you is responsible to fix the planet, and you won’t anyway so forget it. You have the capacity and the calling to love the person that you are with, whether that means helping a young woman to choose to keep her child and continue by helping to raise him, or whether it means giving everything you own away to the poor – go with your convictions here.

    If you’re not convicted to do anything beyond argue on some posterboard, then you’re probably not satisfying Christ anyway, and it hardly matters if you’re right or wrong because you’re very likely Hell-bound. While God is reasonable, He doesn’t care about argument – rhetoric can get you in to Harvard Law, it can’t get you into Heaven. Besides, even a solid argument does little except annoy the Pharisees; people, in my experience, are not won to Christ through argument but by love and forgiveness – those are things which are far beyond comprehension let alone within the realm of argument…

    Finally, if all God offers is a few dollars through Capitalism or a few dollars through socialism or a few laughs through comedism, then I’m out. God is not an ism, I need more than enough to keep me alive and to enjoy the stay comfortably while I’m here. I need so much more than that that I’m not even sure what it is that I need. If all God can do is offer a socio-economic system to feed people a few lousy loaves of bread or to make sure that abortionists are thrown into jail cells then I’m out. I can argue about that crap without Him. I need forgiveness. I need to fix up my inadequacy. I need the sins of my life pushed into nothingness so that I can finally be fully alive. I’m not interested in anything less – and this hope that God offers is not ‘factual’, it’s certainly not reasonable, but it’s the greatest Truth the world has. The great thing is, it would have been offered equally under McCain as it is under Obama. It’s equally relevant. It’s equally dire. Set your sights higher, you’ve been offered Heaven, why to you play in the mud?

    So for Christ’s sake: drop your stones and your swords; pour the salt and water into a bowl; and wash each other’s feet – lest we be guilty of the worst of sins.

  33. Nathan says:

    huzzah for super long discussion threads!!!!!

  34. John says:

    laughs hard
    I myself am a “young conservative”, though I’m more moderate in thinking than conservative…anyways, jsut so you folks know, some of us think Obama will do a fine job as president. I highly doubt God is going to smite me because I’m saying this…people like these give the rest of us a bad name.

Leave a Reply

Set your Twitter account name in your settings to use the TwitterBar Section.