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I hope you don’t take this letter the wrong way but I wanted to let you know, bro to bro, a couple of things. First of all, I’ll admit it, I watch your show. How could I not? Chicks, cougars and straight dudes with great wardrobes—Gossip Girl has it all. I’ve always thought that dialogue only gets in the way of sexy, and you definitely bring it back. I must also confess, I’ve been a fan since day one. Not just of the show but of you, man. You’re like the everyday dude with the grand Upper East Side life that makes everyone feel like you could be buddies. Hence this letter.
I wanted to put down my thoughts and express what many guys all over the country that watch your show would probably also want to express. Thank you for hooking up with Serena! Twice! She’s such a fox. That Dan Humphries is a metrosexually-confused emo kid, too busy figuring himself out to know what he has. You, on the other hand, not only had a hot chick but didn’t settle for that. You made your move and did your thing. You’re like the high school Brad Pitt! That’s boss, man. Brody Jenner? He wishes he had your game.
Dudes don’t come as real as you. How else could you go from dating Blair, hooking up with Serena, having a thing with Jenny (which was risqué but that’s how real dudes do, they take chances), having an affair with a Duchess to getting with Vanessa From Brooklyn? You’re like that Skylar chick from Good Will Hunting that went slumming with Will while she studied in Harvard. Classy, yet street. That’s balance right there, something all of us can take note of and learn from.
Which brings me to another thing about you that I admire: your intelligence. Why else would you be such good friends with Chuck Bass other than to apply Machiavelli’s maxim of keeping your friends close and enemies even closer? Most people don’t realize these things about you, but I see the depth. Great minds think alike, after all. Who cares if you didn’t want to go to Dartmouth like your dad was forcing you to? Good schools do not a good person make, and you’re proof of that. I respect that you don’t take the things handed to you on a silver platter; instead you work hard to undo life’s complications.
Lastly, you’re a dude whom I would want in the trenches with me, and one can’t ask for more than that in a bro. After that episode when you punched the kid over Blair at the debutante ball, and after the episode when you punched those guys that tied Dan to a statue in his boxers thinking he was you, I know you’d have my back like Ryan had Seth’s back in The OC. Even though your girl fans only see your good looks, I see all the dimensions that make you up. I almost feel like we’re boys even though we haven’t met, that is why I had to write you this letter. For if we meet one day, you know I got your back. See you in March!
Love you bro,
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