Bigs [me] and Bones [him] doing work.

That's what we're all about: taking over the sports world at gunpoint. 

We want you to be able to read what we write, because honestly, your life could very well be changed.

My name isn't actually Bigs, and Bones' name isn't actually Bones. You might call those pseudonyms, descriptive terms (I'm sorta big and Bones is bony as hell), or even alliterated nicknames. Regardless, it doesn't matter what our names really are, all that matters is that we are sports.

That's right, we are sports.

Now I know, there are sports blogs all over the place but there's a crucial difference between our sports blog and theirs:

We are sports.

So let me introduce myself. I'm sure Bones will introduce himself later.

I'm Bigs and I'm from Texas. I am somewhat of a homer [def. #4] when it comes to Texas teams, excepting the Texans, Spurs, Rockets, and Astros. They can all burn in hell.

I am a big Bull Durham fan, and so I stole a page out of Crash Davis' book [disclaimer: big boys and girls only] and wrote a "I believe…" monologue to help introduce my sports catechism:

I BELIEVE…

  • I am Crash Davis' illegitimate son.
  • The Dallas Cowboys are only as good as the media thinks their QB is.
  • The Dallas Mavericks are only as good as Mark Cuban's insider trading schemes.
  • Eli Manning is the NFL's version of Jason McElwain.
  • College baseball players should switch to wooden bats.
  • Eight Men Out is one of the most tragic sports movies ever.
  • Texas HS football has to be seen to be believed and/or criticized.
  • Nolan Ryan is a god.
  • Barry Sanders would've been the greatest if he had asked the Wizard of Oz for some heart.
  • There will never be another Michael Jordan (although Sir Charles gambles like him).
  • "Wonderboy" was probably corked.
  • Bill Walton's broadcasting is weaker than his ankles.
  • Mickey Mantle was The Natural.
  • PEDs in baseball broke more hearts than Marilyn Monroe.
  • and that there's no crying in sports.
 
About The Author

bigs

0 Responses to A healthy dose of us

  1. Jacob Parrish says:

    I approve of this blog.

  2. David says:

    JC? Bigs?

  3. Bigs says:

    Don’t act like you don’t recognize me from the back David.

  4. Zach says:

    Nice…I love the McElwain story…and Dido with college using wooden bats

  5. stephen c. berry says:

    so, by “Texas” you mean Dallas teams? good luck, son.

  6. Bigs says:

    Yeah Dallas teams. If it makes you feel any better, Bones loves the Yankees.

    booing ensues

  7. nathan says:

    i still think texas sucks.
    huge.
    just making sure you remember jon.

  8. Mark P says:

    I can’t tell if you’re saying Eli Manning was a likable afterthought and then surprised everyone in a heartwarming Disney performance… or something far more offensive.

    Not that I’m complaining either way.

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