Manny is being paid a million dollars per dreadlock. 

Manny "being Manny" works again.

Today, it is being reported that Manny re-signed with the Dodgers for $45 million dollars. Manny will get $25 million this year and has until November to decide if he wants to void the second year of his contract, which would call for him to be paid $20 million more. 

So after all this wheeling and dealing, Scott Boras gave the Dodger's a good ol' fashioned beat down and came out on top like he always does. Is it just me or will there be a movie called, "Your Advocate is the Devil" starring an elderly Keanu Reeves as Scott Boras?

Also, is it too far-fetched to imagine Scott Boras returning home after getting this deal and opening a bottle of champagne while a dark figure, previously unseen, swivels around in his big leather chair and is dressed like the evil emperor from Star Wars and says, "Well done my son…well done…"

Every clever nickname I've tried to come up with for Scott Boras involves crude language pertaining to sodomy and donkeys. 

All that to say, Manny is a big hairy winner. Both in terms of this deal and in terms of his baseball career. Who is going to be shocked when Manny hits .320 / 40 / 120?

I need Boras to help negotiate my allowance I get from my mom.

Just kidding about that.

I'm perfectly content with my allowance. Thanks mommy. 

 

 

 
About The Author

bigs

0 Responses to Boras being Boras

  1. Matt S. says:

    Given that the Red Sox had two $20 million options on Manny over the next two seasons, I’m not sure earning that extra $5 million or just $2.5 million more a year is a “victory” for the Great Satan. It’s even less of a triumph given what Boras/Ramirez sought at the beginning of the off-season.

  2. Dylan says:

    So you guys soldout huh? This is worse then when Radiohead did Clueless. I’m so dissapointed.

  3. Dylan says:

    Oh and I love the ESPN font. Real original.

  4. Dylan says:

    Ok. Ok. I’m just still bitter about you erasing all of my earlier comments. I still love you guys.

  5. Bones says:

    Dylan,
    We didn’t choose the ESPN font…it chose us. It’s good to have you back. Oh and we will be extra careful to protect your precious comments. Love.

  6. Bigs says:

    Matt,
    You’re right. I’m not sure either.

    However, it sounds like a good deal to me because of the lack of interest from other clubs (or at least public interest).

    To get an aging [turning 37] superstar $45 million dollars, to hit bombs and pretend to play left field, guaranteed with an opt-out clause (I’m pretty sure this also entails having a player called up from AAA to run the bases for Manny when he hits home runs) after one year.

    Sure, Boras didn’t get the $25 million over 5 years that he was looking for originally…but in today’s economic situation, I still feel like he used dark magic.

Leave a Reply

Set your Twitter account name in your settings to use the TwitterBar Section.