Ashton Kutcher defeats CNN in Twitter race!

Overnight victory for the web generation! Good morning, TGIF. Here's our week-end edition of The Morning Gossip, where we break the stuff that happened while you slumbered last night, as well as catch a few items that might have slipped through our information-battered consciousnesses during the previous few days. The very latest:

  • This week, star Twitterer Ashton Kutcher started a race with CNN to be the first Twitterer to have 1 million followers. It got heated last night: CNN conceded at 2:12 a.m. Eastern Time, still about 700 short as Ashton roared across the finish line, after which he gave a live victory speech on his UStream channel. Well that was cute.
  • At a concert last night, Seal confirmed that he has, in fact, impregnated Heidi Klum. Now she can start looking even older!
  • President Obama made a "weighty decision" to release some CIA torture memos. They say that our people kept prisoners awake for a week at a time and threw them up against a wall 30 consecutive times. Yeesh.
  • The New York Observer broke the weird, fascinating story of Kari Farrell, a hipster outlaw who showed up from California to lie her way into a job at Vice, then stuck around to defraud and suck the life out of people in Brooklyn. Apparently she's still on the loose, so watch your be-flanneled backs in Williamsburg.
  • Who will win this weekend in Zac Efron vs. Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Rachel McAdams, and Helen Mirren? You know who our money's on.
  • Speaking of Efron, if you want to see the most gratuitously, dishonestly headlined news story to be published this week, it's about him and it's right here.
  • The Magazine Publishers of America's advertising comparison numbers are out for this year vs. January-March of last year. Biggest losers: everybody.
  • If you got depressed by all of last week's terrible Sarah Palin news, here's a chance to smile: at a campaign stop in Indiana yesterday, she brought out thousands who mobbed her for autographs.
  • Today in cool things to look at: Slate's animated map of job losses. Also their fantastic architecture critic with the untypable name looks at the "Jenga" effect – buildings that look like stacks of blocks.
  • Patrick Swayze is about to die.
  • We'll wrap up on a happy, patriotic note: our girl Kelly Clarkson sang the national anthem at Yankees opening day yesterday:

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