Swine Flu

Good morning a little bit late; hope you’ve been getting some work done. At the closing bell on Friday, we were wondering if there was any way to stop talking about torture. Apparently there is: start a global pandemic! Or at least turn all the sick birds to sick swine, and you have something new to talk about for a while. But in all seriousness, the morning’s news and gossip:

Oh, Mexico. You just can’t get anything right, can you? First civil war over drugs, and now you’re responsible for a swine flu outbreak that is somehow getting us sick all the way here in New York. What were you thinking? Europe is ignoring us in the halls now because we associate with you. Oh well, at least one positive thing always comes out of global viruses: good M.I.A. songs.

48% of Texas Republicans favor secession. Some other people do, too.

John Mayer had an angsty night last night. “Would you trade not being a genius for not being crazy?” (We would not.)

Megan McAllister has called off her previous plans to marry the soon-to-be-convicted “Craigslist killer.” Probably a good call.

—The Times still wants you to believe there is an “atheism closet” that people are increasingly brave enough to come out of. Word.

Steven Curtis Chapman was sort of the Heath Ledger of this year’s Dove Awards.

Beyonce’s movie with that guy from The Wire, which is reportedly terrible, beat out Jamie Foxx’s Oscar bait at the cinema this weekend.

—Speaking of movies, the Odyssey is being made into one. It’s directed by Jonathan Liebesman, who was responsible for Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, which really gives one confidence in this project. Confidence that we are safe to never mention it again.

—It looks like the Hipster Grifter saga has finally found a fitting conclusion. The part we never understood: why would anyone think robbing hipsters was worth their time?

—Protestant pastors are evenly split—47% on each side—over whether global warming is “real or man-made.”

Geez, New York. We try not to hate on you too much, but when you do everything you can to turn into Time Out New York, well, it’s just too easy. Really, another recession guide?  

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