Judging by the title of this post, you may think that I am struggling in fantasy baseball. Au contraire my friend, au contraire. I am in first place in my division and second place overall, only behind my good friend Bones. What I want to talk to you about today is the powerful emotions that drive fantasy baseball and its participants.
Maybe I have a bit of an anger issue already. Maybe I'm known to lose it every once in a while in an inappropriate or disproportional display of rage [think Ben Stiller from Mystery Men]. But I don't think I'm alone when it comes to the experience of "fantasy fury." Let me throw a scenario at you:
Hypothetically speaking [completely hypothetical here], you've been watching a pitcher who plays for the Texas Rangers pitch for the past few weeks. He's 22 years old and throws 98 MPH which is, to say the least, a rarity for Rangers pitchers [maybe they've finally learned that "89 MPH, fly-ball pitchers" don't work in The Ballpark of "do you know what a jetstream is?" Arlington.]. So I've…err…you've been watching this kid pitch and you decide that he's got fantasy sleeper written all over him, so you pick him up off waivers because YOU'VE got the inside scoop.
Then, you go to a live Texas Rangers game when they're playing the Yankees. And you watch, in person, your 22 year old's and your fantasy baseball team's ERA for the week get SKEWED out of control by the bronx bombers.
Anger. It's a terrible quality, especially when everyone else is trying to comfort the 22 year old as he walks off the mound.
"Hey, great job Holland! You've got a great future! You'll get 'em next time bud!" – them.
"I HATE YOU YOU SONOFA****! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE! I WAS UP IN ERA AND WHIP! NOW I DON'T HAVE A SHOT! IF YOU COST ME THE TITLE I WILL FIND YOU! I WILL FIND YOU!" – me [channeling Chris Farley in the coffee infomercial rampage].
Another real quick instance of anger / disbelief: the play where Joba Chamberlain [my starting pitcher] gives up a long fly ball that Melky Cabrera [my outfielder] chases into the wall but doesn't catch, hurting himself and allowing a triple. I was in shock.
Stay tuned for the next fantasy emotion: Joy.
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