What in the name of all that is food IS this? I can’t tell if I’m more put off by the directionless commercial or the fact that Taco Bell thinks that its food service standards and culinary excellence have led them, naturally, to the crowded table of watery, tasteless farmed shrimp.

What is this commercial trying to say exactly? Is it poking fun of itself? The notion of a “shrimp blogger” scouring all the corners of the earth for palate-pleasing plankton (I am aware shrimp are actually benthic and feed on plankton so are therefore not plankton. But if I’d been trying to be biologically accurate, I wouldn’t have been able to use such amusing alliteration. So I’ll call it prosaic license. Though, I suppose I could’ve gone with “palate-pleasing prawn” but in that instance I lose the internal consonance of the letter “L” and also introduce a rhythmic imbalance by ending the rhyme on a monosyllable.) would lead me to think that a tongue-in-cheek approach is being used.

Yet, the ad progresses with too high a level of seriousness to support that initial reaction. There seems a progressive escalation of the aficionado’s appetite for only the most captivating crustacean. And just when I think this commercial is for some sit-down, “neighborhoody” restaurant chain, the global shrimp farmer’s union, or some pseudo-Aussie establishment, the protagonist plops down his net of fresh shrimp, sprints from the beach in some remote location that appears to be Vietnam (based on the hyper-stereotypical attire donned by the blogger’s companion) to the nearest… Taco Bell?! Really?! To which Taco Bell in Vietnam did he hurry off? I’m pretty sure the only Taco Bell in the country is in Hanoi.

I’d like to think that Taco Bell knows its place in the restaurant food chain. It must know that it is not serving quality food. So why produce a commercial that makes it seem like they really tried to make something objectively delicious to an expert in the deliciousness of the new thing? And what is the purpose of the “Pacific” in the title of their new product? Am I supposed to believe that these prawns were actually plucked from the Pacific? Cause I don’t.

This whole Taco Bell Pacific Shrimp Taco thing is an utter fiasco.

I am left with two options: 1) Taco Bell truly believes this product is actually made of shrimp and super-tastilicious, or 2) their attempt at a tongue-in-cheek, humorous advertisement of their newest profit-mongering abomination of what looks like food totally failed. Either way, under no circumstances should any creature – human or otherwise – eat this.

At the end of the 30-second spot our hero asks, “should I blog it, or keep this one for myself?”

I wished he’d have kept it for himself.

About The Author

Kevin Gosa

0 Responses to Under NO Circumstances Should Any Creature, Human or Otherwise, Eat This

  1. Joey Spiegel says:

    I’ve got to admit that this commercial doesn’t seem quite worthy of the energy it takes to write a witty article. Or, this comment for that matter. Wow, I just wasted time twice. What’s next? The caviar taco?

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