I’ve been feeling weighed down since the weekend – body and soul. I haven’t been able to determine whether it’s from this hellish Northeast heatwave, or from the knowledge that someone out there is still willing to pay M. Night Shyamalan to direct feature films.

After half of a week of partially sleepless nights, I realized from whence my sorrow cometh. And it is clear to me now that only way to shed this burden is to ensure that justice will be done.

I was reminded of a trio of summertime childhood heroes who upon the discovery of their true enemy, their own personal El Guapo – who in their case happened to be the actual El Guapo – would declaim, “wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we’ll be there. Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find,” well, today me.

Now I say this to my El Guapo of the last four days: every single one of you out there in the blogofacetweetwebiverse who hastily re-posted/tweeted/liked/blogged that the day 25 years in the future to which Doc Brown set the time circuits of the DeLorean was July 5, 2010 is hereby banned from watching Back to the Future for the next 25 years.

With so little still sacrosanct in our culture, how dare you desecrate the legacy of a major cultural icon by propagating information you can’t corroborate? It only took a couple minutes for me to scan my copy of the film and verify that – as I had suspected – that date never appears.

So, don’t let me catch you sneaking a peek at Doc and Marty in 1955 – until it’s 2035.
 
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Kevin Gosa

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