Listen America, I hear your cries. You want more content! I feel you. I really do. I’m going to write a little bit right now, but I’m telling you, it’s going to be another week before I’m available to devote myself to you.

Bones and I spent Valentines Day together. America, gay jokes are immature. Plus, we prevented any awkwardness by watching American History X, maybe the most unromantic movie in the history of movies.

I realize that I keep changing the little banner picture. So, you know, lay off.

Anyways, back to sports.

  • All-Star Weekend. This was a significant all star game weekend for me because this is the first time I’ve watched every event. I walked away (by walked away, I mean slowly changed the channel) a little underwhelmed. Highlights were: Dominique “The Human Highlight Film” Wilkins trying to dunk in the celebrity game. The most boring game of H-O-R-S-E I’ve ever seen. Kevin Durant lighting it up in the rookie challenge. And probably Shaq punking Dwight Howard…speaking of DH…
  • The dunk contest was pretty epic. We all sort of knew it was going to come down to Dwight Howard and Nate The Great. Apparently Nate knew that also with his ingenius kryptonite uniform / ball. The two most amazing things I’ve seen happened: Dwight Howard dunking on a 12’ rim like it was 9’ and Nate jumping over Dwight. Ridiculous.
  • So, ‘BronBron is going to be in the 2010 dunk contest in Texas? I’m unbelievably hyped for this already. He better not backout. Also, I thought it was ridiculously awesome that he threw down a sick off-the-backboard-slam at the end of the All Star game when a lot of guys would’ve just dribbled the clock out despite the fans booing. Props.
  • The Suns fired Coach Porter. Hahahahahahahahahaha.
  • The Texas Rangers have the #1 farm system in baseball right now. As a Texas Ranger season-ticket-holder, I’m pretty thrilled about this. I will slit my wrists if we trade all our young guys for Ben Sheets or Manny or something. Please God, I can’t handle that. I still have Chan Ho Park nightmares (basically, the gist of these dreams is that something good is happening to me like a birthday party or something, and then Chan Ho Park comes in and ruins my life while simultaneously giving up 3 home runs.)

Deuces, America.

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