I guess now is the time when the Baby Marlins have the opportunity to shut up every Sportscenter and ESPN.com analyst that predicted them to a losing season, or crumble under the pressure of a hot start followed by the realization of every prophecy about them. Moral victories, such as Cody Ross pitching a scoreless ninth inning in an embarrassing loss, don’t get you to the playoffs, and they certainly don’t attract fans to the stadium.
Last night was double elimination night and new rules explanation night so I guess that 13th contestant wasn’t all that much of a difference maker when two contestants were scheduled to be votes off.
This new rule sounds more complicated than it really is but I guess it still merits some explaining. Basically the judges get to save one person and one person only. This is allowed to happen once during the entire season and can be done up to when there’s only five contestants left. So in about 4 weeks we’ll start getting to the point where some people can feel like there’s a possibility of being saved because we are at too early of a stage to be saving people. Having said that, let’s go on to last night’s happenings.
9:00 Kanye West and Kelly Clarkson are on Idol tonight, woo hoo! Results are in, Woo hoo! 33 million votes, Woo hoo! Let’s hope Kanye doesn’t pull a Dennis Rodman and kicks a photog tonight. How does Simon manage to get the loudest cheers even though he’s the biggest jerk?
9:05 Michael Jackson medley kicked off, literally, by Kriss and Jorge. Hopefully this isn’t being judged because on a corny scale from 10 to 10, it’s a 40. I’m thinking it’s lip synched. Oh god, there’s choreography. Who’s encouraging this? Who’s choreographing this? Was that just my TV or did the sound go off for all of America?
9:10 Recap of last night. Cute and inspirational but feels like filler. Gokey and Screamo kid are named last night’s standouts. I may agree with that.
9:13 Is it awkward to have a crush on someone 10 years your junior? I’m just asking…
9:15 Lights are dimmed at Seacrest’s command, here we go. Oh man, Michael big boy is up first. Oof. He is safe, after the long pause. Good choice, U.S. Allison is next, how could she not be safe? I’m not even sweating this, and she shouldn’t either. She admits she was scared. Now Jasmine is up, first person to be dangerously close to not being safe. Matt G. is also up, but he’s safe. Thanks for the ruse, Seacrest.
I’m back this week live-blogging for you the prime-time television watching event of the week. No, I’m not talking about the So-funny-he-actually-has-to-act-lame Jimmy Fallon experiment. I’m referring to the TV watching experience where crushes are developed, hopes are built and dreams are shattered—y’know, American Idol.
But as is the problem of still being a college student, I wrestle on weekly basis with deciding to stay in class or skipping it to bring you all my thoughts on the show that America loves to idolize. Alas, I’m paying a hefty amount of money to get a piece of paper that will allow me to charge for my labor so in class I remained and this live blog begins a little late into the show. Nevertheless, enjoy:
8:33 Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamit!! Walked in to see Randy be the last judge to gush over Danny Gokey, my personal choice to win it all. Crap! No clue what’s going on but Danny seemed to have a smile on his face so I assume he did well.
8:35 Papa-Bear-looking Michael is singing “You are not alone.” Let’s go. Oh, he’s going for that sexy sitting down thing. Ok, heartthrob mode. Seems to get through it smoothly, I can get down with that last note at the end of the song.
8:37 Ok, aside from Simon, I need another judge that will actually do some judging and not tell me things that I (and the rest of America) already know. Thanks for mentioning how well-liked Michael is by everyone.
After avoiding this disease like pretty girls avoided me throughout middle school and high school, the unthinkable happened: I caught the psychotic epidemic that strikes the nation every year and reduces all those infected to hysteric school girls for two nights a week—American Idol. It’s true, ladies and gentlemen, and it is for this reason that I shoved the slow-moving lady with the Trader Joe’s bags out of my way so I could squeeze into the spot she meant to occupy in the uptown 3 train. If you are reading this, Slow-Moving-Trader-Joe’s-Bag-Carrying-Lady I would like for you to know: never again make the mistake of walking that slowly with your recently bought groceries in front of someone when they have to get home and watch American Idol.
Much to my chagrin, however, I turned on my television to sadly realize that instead of Simon, Paula, Randy and that New-Judge-That-No-One-Ever-Remembers-Her-Name, I was about to watch President Barack Obama talk about important things that matter. How intrusive. How un-American. So I did the next best thing to paying attention to him; I live blogged about his “historic” first address to Congress. These are the highlights:
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